So, you’ve made it through the first month or so at University. You’ve survived freshers week, the grinding hangovers and the flatmates who keep nicking your bread and milk. You might even have been to the odd lecture. Give yourselves a collective pat on the back.
Whilst it may be tempting to while away your hours at the hall bars and student’s union, now is the time to branch out in your after-hours endeavours. This handy guide gives a helpful run-down of what to expect when you decide to sample the dizzying array of clubbing possibilities at your chosen institution.
Those in the big cities will recognise the lot, but even those in smaller towns will spot several options for their evening entertainment.
1. The Party Club
The Decor: Sticky dancefloors; stickier bars; and grand, impenetrable DJ booths. Plus hundreds of stickier still patrons pinned to the walls.
The Music: Chart-friendly cheese, but with a welcome variety and no overpowering contemporary bias. You might hear anything from Beyonce to Blink 182, with a hefty dose Chesney Hawkes thrown in for good measure.
Who You’ll See There: Anyone and everyone, from bare-chested rugby boys to bookworms taking a night off. Variety is the spice of life, as they say.
The Vibe: Drink, dance, drink, dance, drink, drink. Then dance. Expect plenty of pashing on the dancefloor while you look on from the nearest bar.
2. The Chillout Club
The Decor: Pokey, low-lit rooms with tessellated shapes on the carpet. Plus surprisingly well-kept toilets.
The Music: Light trance and electronica; Ministry of Sound chillout anthems; and the occasional good-looking bloke playing misty-eyed live acoustica.
Who You’ll See There: Floppy-haired post-gap year students with oversized cashmere sweaters and ironic slogan t-shirts; ‘Rahstas’ from the Home Counties who are “totally into reggae”.
The Vibe: Buy a 5 quid corona and lounge on the comfy sofas. Discuss South America, Jack Johnson or the environment while the music gently washes over you.
3. The Dance Club
The Decor: Sparsely furnished, clinical looking rooms – pitch black except for the laser show. Bars serving mostly water.
The Music: Niche drum ‘n’ bass, euphoric trance the occasional foray into dubstep and electro.
Who You’ll See There: Wide-eyed revellers in nu-rave gear and old adidas tracksuit tops; barely anyone in heels.
The Vibe: Party like it’s 1990 and you’re at a rave in Hampshire, not an upstairs room in Leamington Spa. Never leave.
4. High Society
The Decor: Top-dollar ‘booths’ or ‘beds’, complete with cushions and rugs. Plus a token dancefloor for when the all-you-can-drink booze runs out.
The Music: Similar to the chillout club, but with diversions into pure pop and the odd soul classic.
Who You’ll See There: Beautiful, rich and classy boys and girls with good family breeding, searching for marriage-material members of the opposite sex; the occasional anomalous party club waif and stray pilling in early for the drinks deals.
The Vibe: Hit the bar to make the most of the aforementioned ‘all-you-can-drink’ spirit-mixers (with tickets at 20-quid a pop), then later console yourself with an extremely expensive Mojito and ‘bed-hop’.
5. The Indie Disco
The Decor: Smart and minimalist, leaving plenty of space for loose-limbed hip-shaking, twisting ‘n’ shouting, and large Elvis Costello and Blondie prints hanging on the walls.
The Music: The NME’s top-50 list from the past three decades, and the latest trendy guitar-tunes doing the rounds on the blogosphere.
Who You’ll See There: Hipsters in skinny jeans and faux-lens glasses, looking awkward and smoking prodigiously.
The Vibe: Act extremely pleased every time The Smiths come one, and be prepared to talk about music and dance in a manner simultaneously assured and ill-at-ease.
Think you can recommend another type of club? Post your comments below and we’ll look into it. You might also like to view our tips how to enjoy a cheap night out.