Everyone knows that half the fun of University is the opportunity to behave like a complete and utter nincompoop on your thrice-weekly forays out into the ultra-forgiving nocturnal world of student life.
So forgiving, in fact, that even if others remember you playing air-bass along to ‘Summer of 69’ whilst your ‘mate’ (i.e. some dude you inadvertently bought a tequila for at the bar whilst finally fronting up your round and then couldn’t get rid of) fills in on the sticks, then chances are toxic levels of inebriation mean that you won’t. And if you don’t remember, then it never really happened, right? Right.
In honour of the grand old tradition of a squiffy-eyed knees up with your pals, I’ve picked out half a dozen of the naffest – and consequently most fearsomely awesome (just trust us) – tracks which might normally induce a mild aneurysm if played on the radio but are likely to engender an uncannily spontaneous recreation of a scene from Grease when played in a club.
Did we say half the fun of Uni? Better make it most. Add these songs to your ultimate uni party playlist today.
1. Chesney Hawkes – I Am the One and Only
Riff-tastic pop-rock at its most narcissistic. Apparently Chesney still dines out on this one – when he isn’t pulling pints at Lloyd’s in Slough, that is.
The Best Bit: Several hundred young men wishing they had long enough hair to shake. And then doing the motion anyway.
2. Baywatch Theme
Perhaps the quintessential cheese song, due to the inexplicable perfectly rational desire for Universities up and down the land to base club nights around various swimwear-inspired themes. This song is almost guaranteed to be played during Freshers week.
The Best Bit: People year on year still genuinely believing that David Hasselhoff sings it. He doesn’t, kids – it’s actually former Survivor (don’t ask) singer Jimi Jamison. Remember that one for the pub quiz.
3. Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart
Cheese it may be, but if we’re perpetuating the metaphor, this one would be more Cathedral City mature than Sainsbury’s Value mild. In other words, it’s a bit of a cracking song – steeped in drama, genuinely moving, and belted out in the gravelliest voice since Frank Butcher torched the used car lot in Walford.
The Best Bit: You and your mates thinking yourselves excruciatingly amusing by singing the slightly rude version from ‘Old School’.
4. N-Trance – Set You Free
Proving that cheese need not be confined to guitar-driven 80s platinum product from poodle-haired pseudo-rockers, this 90s cut from dance specialists N-Trance ticks the most crucial of cheese boxes: it’s three-word refrain is simple enough to be learned by heart after a single listen.
The Best Bit: You probably like it more than they did in the 90s, even without the pharmaceuticals.
5. Take That – Never Forget
Forget ‘Patience’, this was the original (and best) of the arms-round-yer-mates tracks from cock-eyed Barlow and his team of stool-worrying back-up singers.
The Best Bit: The choir-boy build up allows for valuable recovery time prior to a Jedward-esque air-kick to herald the start of the final chorus. Make sure they play the full version, mind.
6. Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now
Although somewhat usurped in recent years by a truly horrible cover from Mcfly, this golden oldie still aptly touches the nerve of why you’re there in the first place: to have a good time. A useful reminder during the post-midnight lull.
The Best Bit: Pure. Air. Guitar.
Any More Cheese? Leave Your Comments! Also be sure to check out our tips for a cheap night out.